Divorce: Understanding How to Co-Parent

Co-parenting is a relationship between two adults who together share the responsibility of raising a child or children. Typically, it is a relationship between the two parents who share all the aspects of raising a child. Co-parenting can also be between a parent and grandparent, or a parent and childcare provider.

Collaborative Divorce Facilitates Co-Parenting

Divorcing parents must transition away from dealing with their relationship with their partner to focusing on their role as parents. Ideally, they can leave behind the emotional baggage that was related to their romantic partnership and focus on their child or children and parenting.

A Collaborative Divorce is ideally suited for facilitating co-parenting. It is a non-adversarial process that uses dispute resolution techniques to teach parents how to communicate and negotiate their differences peacefully. That is one of the most important values of the collaborative process.

Research shows that the most significant thing divorced parents can do for their children is to keep the conflict between the parents low. The way parents do this is to learn how to communicate, coordinate, and collaborate around the business of parenting.

Children want their parents to be actively involved in their lives. Children do not want to be put in the middle of a battle between their parents.

Parents need to keep the well-being of the children at the center of their divorce process. This can be achieved with a Collaborative Divorce, which is designed to keep the parents centered on the children and on co-parenting in the future without conflict.

How Parents Can Keep the Conflict Low

Collaborative Divorce helps the parents manage their feelings and learn how to keep them in check when having conversations with the other parent. It helps the parents focus on the present and the specific piece of business concerning their child that needs resolution at the moment.

The collaborative process assists the parents in not falling back into past history and pulling marital business into the parenting discussion. The focus stays on the children.

Finding common ground for the parents is the goal when discussing what is in the best interest of the children. The parents need to keep the long view in mind and remember that they both love and care for their children. Some guidance for the parents includes:

• Be polite to each other. Say please and thank you.

• Avoid blaming each other.

• Make requests, not demands.

Having a peaceful transition from married parents to parents who co-parent but do not live together is the best thing divorcing parents can do for their children.